Luck is a Fickle Thing
by Becky Sky
Summary: Neil's luck has changed... and things are getting just a bit purple... and really wierd...oneshot... please read & review!


Luck is a Fickle Thing

**A/n: Hey, everyone who's reading this. I hope you like it, and PLEASE review. And everyone who reads my other stories and doesn't review, please do! It shows that people are reading it. If people aren't reading them, I might not update for a long time. So please review! Thanks. –Becky**

Sunlight filtered through Neil's open curtains into his dorm room, creating a puddle of light on his floor. Seeping across the wooden slats, it crept its way up onto his bed, across his sleeping form, and through his partially closed eyes. Neil's eyelids fluttered, and he sat up slowly, yawning and stretching. He then threw off his covers and slipped his feet into his fuzzy blue bunny slippers, a Christmas gift from Herry.

Neil got up and shuffled his way slowly throughout the dorm, towards the shared bathroom. He entered the clean, shining bathroom, and turned on the shower. Then he turned and checked his reflection in the huge mirror, installed by Herry and Odie, and requested by Neil himself. He expected to see the usual: his rosy skin healthy and glowing, his hair blonde and glistening, and his lashes even and long. But what he got was quite a shock…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Theresa was jolted awake by Neil's piercing shriek. She groaned and covered her ears, praying that someone would stuff a sock in his giant, self-absorbed, petty mouth. "Shut up, Neil!" she shouted, but she knew he wouldn't hear her over the noise of his own scream.

Jay sighed and checked his watch. Neil had started screaming over ten minutes ago, and hadn't stopped since. _You'd think Cronus was cutting off his hair,_ he thought, his mind, as usual, revolving around our maniac enemy.

Odie relaxed as he played his video games. He wasn't affected by Neil's high-pitched yells, thanks to his super-duper ear plugs. _And everyone thought I was being paranoid about Neil when I invented these things. Well, now they're paying for their closed-mindedness. Never underestimate a self-centered ego-maniac._

Herry tossed and turned, holding his pillow over his head, then covering his ears with his hands, anything to block out the mournful wail of Neil. He tumbled out of bed and stormed through the dorm, running out into the street like the devil himself were after him. He rushed to the corner of the road and was soon very perplexed. Even at the corner of the street, you could still hear Neil. He looked up to the heavens, holding out his arms, ready for any help offered. "_Is there no escape?"_ he yelled up at the heavens.

Atlanta felt like seriously hurting someone, preferably Neil. She had been forced to get up early for once, and she wasn't at all pleased. Since Athena wasn't here to cook a delicious breakfast, she had been forced to eat cereal. As she munched on it glumly, with a frown on her face, Archie joined her, black smudges under his eyes. He sat down and started frantically munching on cereal, as if every bite would make Neil shut up. He was trying hard to control his temper. And Neil was lucky that he was trying, or else he'd be screaming about a lot more than whatever he was screaming about. He was tempted to shave Neil's blonde, gorgeous hair. He grinned evilly. Such thoughts were a comfort.

After twenty minutes of continuous screaming, Neil resorted to sobs. He wondered why his friends weren't running to comfort him in his distress. Wasn't that what friends were for??? He couldn't dare to look in the mirror again. But he did. And began screaming all over again.

Half an hour later, six of the seven heroes were all gathered around the breakfast table, grumbling and groaning, except for Odie of course, who couldn't resist an "I told you so" to his friends. They all looked up to see someone enter the room…

Theresa screamed and grabbed a frying pan off the stove, attacking the creature with it. With each swing, the monster scurried away, giving a high-pitched shriek. Suddenly Theresa stopped and gasped. "Neil?" she asked, disbelievingly. The monster nodded. He was all purple, with a big green stomach and large, but frowning, mouth. Neil had become a fashion disaster… Barney the dinosaur.

Theresa began to laugh, and soon all the others followed suit, until the whole dorm was filled with a kind of bellowing that was never heard before, and never will be heard again. Neil crossed his big chubby arms and pouted, his huge lower lip sticking out like a plum. When Theresa had stopped gasping for breath, she tried to apologize for attacking him with a frying pan. "It's just that when I was a little girl, I had nightmares about Barney eating me. I never was the same after that."

Herry poked Neil's skin, and felt rubber. "Is this real?" he asked.

Neil punched him, and winced. "As real as your small brain."

Herry frowned. "Was that a joke about my stupidity?" He puffed himself up to his full height and glared down at Neil. "You're in no position to be mean, Barney," he said threateningly.

Atlanta wasn't finished giggling. "What happened to your luck, Neil?" she asked.

"It flew out the window," Neil said sarcastically. "Now how am I going to go to school like _this?_"

"Like everyone else," Archie said. "You never know, maybe girls will like you better this way. As far as I know, Barney doesn't love himself."

"This one does," Neil said proudly. "Don't you worry, Neil," he said to himself. "No matter how you look, you're still Neil, perfect in every way. And I'll always love you."

Odie rolled his eyes. He'd taken his earplugs out when he had been assured that Neil was no longer a threat to his eardrums.

"Come on, guys," he said, checking his watch. "We're going to be late."

At school, Neil's day wasn't getting any better. He really had to go to the bathroom, but the stalls don't fit large purple dinosaurs. And he had been called down to the principle's office twice already for the infringement of the dress code. That was where he was sitting now, sent down by his third period teacher, just like all the others.

"The principle will see you now," said the soft-spoken secretary, smiling slightly at Neil's absurd costume, which was what all the teachers thought it was.

Neil shuffled towards the principle's private room, only to get stuck in the doorway. He groaned. "Ms. Principle," he called. "A little help here?" The principle looked up from her desk, annoyed. "You again," she said. "How many times must we tell you? If you're going to wear a costume, at least wear clothes over it. People get the wrong idea…"

"Excuse me," Neil said indignantly. "I assure you, I would wear clothes if I could find a pair of designer jeans in a triple double size. But I can't so I'm stuck."

"You mean your zipper is stuck?"

"What?"

"Costume? Zipper? Surely you have a brain, Mr…what's your name again? Oh yes, Barney?"

"But this isn't a costume!"

"Neil, if you insist on telling lies, I'm going to have to suspend you."

"What? Suspension? I've never been suspended in my life," Neil whined.

"Then what do you want to do? Lie, or tell the truth?" the principle asked.

"I want to go to the bathroom. But… I don't know how to in my current state." He looked down at his huge purple feet.

"Get out of my office. Now. Go, rampage throughout the school, terrorizing the students." The principle threw her hands up into the air in frustration. "I can't take it anymore. I'm going on vacation." She ran out of the office, hollering, "I'm free! Free, I tell you! Barney can no longer hurt my head!" The students in their classrooms and in the halls all turned to stare at her in wonder at their whacked-out principle as she ran by. As she exited the school, cheers erupted, and the students flooded out of their classrooms, all crowding Neil, their Barney-turned-hero. Neil was lifted by Herry and a few other strong boys onto their shoulders and marched around the school, all the kids jostling each other for his autograph and cheering his name. "Neil! Neil! Neil!" they shouted. They poured out of the school onto the streets, leaving their teachers to call the doctors for mental checkups.

Neil smiled. This was getting fun. "Who wants to help Barney find some designer jeans his size?" he yelled. A cheer went up among the students. "To the mall!" he shouted.

Two hours later, the six heroes and Barney were back at the dorm, Barney hogging the couch as they watched TV. None of them had the heart to tell him to change the channel, well, because they were all asleep. You can guess what he was watching… Barney. "There I am," he sighed, going up and kissing the TV. "There I am in all my glory, famous and loved at last." Even now the doorbell still rang occasionally, always a groupie trying to get an autograph, or a football player begging him to join the team. Neil (or Barney, as he now liked to be called) could get used to this. Tomorrow he'd go to out with friends in the designer jeans he had found, made specifically for him. (And bought by an adoring student body.) He couldn't wait for tomorrow!!

The next day Neil didn't even wait to have the sun seep through his eyelids to wake up. He awoke at the crack of dawn to try on his new clothes. He pulled on a pair of jeans, only to have them slide down to the floor. He rushed to the mirror in the bathroom, staggering as he ran with pants around his feet. He looked in the mirror to find… "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

In six other dorm rooms, all you could hear was groaning.

Back in the kitchen, at 6:39 in the morning, six grumbling teenagers assembled to see what horrifying creature from Theresa's nightmares would show up next. They turned to see Neil, normal old Neil, walk in. Theresa reached for the frying pan. Neil noticed and glared. "Haha," he said sarcastically. Theresa grinned. "I think I liked Barney better," she said. All the others agreed.

"He didn't talk so much," Archie commented.

Neil groaned. "Why am I back to just being normal? Why am I so unlucky? I was popular…popular!"

At school, it was worse. The students had forgotten their courageous hero, as the villainous principle had returned to her lair. Neil was left to adore himself, and right now, he couldn't even do that. His friends tried to comfort him at lunch when they sat together in the cafeteria. Neil sighed over and over again. Atlanta and he others couldn't help but grin. "Luck's a fickle thing," Theresa commented. Neil glared at her. "It shouldn't be. I should be popular and Barney again."

His friends burst out laughing. "I never thought I'd hear _Neil _say a fashion don't is good," Jay laughed. Neil frowned. "Come to think of it, I'm beginning to not know myself," he said, looking alarmed. He stood up quickly, grabbing his handheld mirror from his backpack. "Excuse us," he said dramatically to his friends. "We have some catching up to do."

His friends gazed after him in astonishment. "Looks like luck isn't the only thing that's fickle," Jay commented. "Seems that Neil is too."

**A/n: Well, how was that? It was longer than I expected. Hope you enjoyed it and it was funny enough! Please review!!!!**


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